Journal of Tanake Trang 012.

Entry 012:  When I awakened today, I had a communication waiting from Master Adesdin.  He wanted to meet with me first thing this morning. I sent a message to Sedaris and asked him not to make any decisions until we could speak again.  Norik came and told me he was going to escort me to Master Adesdin's office.  He tried to talk to me on the way but I didn't feel like talking.  Norik stopped trying to speak to me and we walked the rest of the way in silence.  It felt like I was going to be lectured which felt worse than being in trouble with Mother or Father.   

Norik escorted me to door and then took his leave.  I entered alone to see Master Adesdin awaiting my arrival.  He gestured for me to sit down and then apologized to me about the incident on the planet.  He felt that we were placed in jeopardy and he was not doing HIS</b> job in watching out for us.  I told him that it was more our fault for leaving and not telling anyone.  He talked with me about Sedaris and how I needed to let him find himself.  It will be so hard if he leaves.  We have never been separated and I am unsure if I will be able to continue without him and our parents.

Afterward, I made it to Meda's class very quickly.  Because I stayed so long with Master Adesdin, I did not get a chance to eat.  It was hard to focus on what she was saying, but I managed to do it.  I could only think about whether or not Sedaris would be leaving.  He didn't meet my gaze once and it felt like he was ignoring me completely.  I stopped him after class and finally got a chance to speak with him.  Yate and Rychi  sensed something was wrong and they left us alone.  

I should have known better to corner my brother when he does not want to talk.  We had a huge fight!  He accused me of no longer caring about our parents and I should be more worried about them. He said that I did not know these people and it seemed like I listened to them more than I should.  I didn't know what to reply to what he was saying and I changed the subject quickly.  I asked what he was going to do about Rychi.  His eyes darkened like Father’s did when he was angry.  Sedaris threw her bracelet at me.  I didn't pick it up, I turned and left.  I don't know what is going on with him but I hope that he thinks about what he is doing before he does it.  

When I got to Master Adesdin’s Isa class, he paired Yate and I together.  I threw him really far out of the training circle.  He was fine but seemed surprised at what I had done.  I realised I could have hurt him.  I don't know what came over me.   We were working on punches and he made this crack about Sedaris not being able to handle the training.  He asked if that happen to me?  I grew angry at what he said and threw him as far as I could.  

Class ended and Master Adesdin asked me to stay behind.  I knew exactly what he wanted to speak about.  He wanted to talk to me about what happened with Yate.  I tried to explain it to him and he kept nodding like he understood.  I believe that he did.  He told me that I should not let things like that affect me.  He reminded me of the Jedi code and its importance.  What I did was wrong.  I know that.  I feel bad and will apologize tomorrow but it's far too late to do it tonight.