Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
[x]

deviantART

 

Journal of Tanake Trang 001. by =GermanCityGirl:iconGermanCityGirl:



This journal will be a record of everything that is important.  I have never kept one before but our lives are so different now, I think it is time to start.  It will be interesting to look back and read about the things that have happened to me and Sedaris.  I might not write everyday, but I will definitely write if I have something to say. If I cannot, I will rely on the computer to relay the events as chronicled.  Mother once told me it would be a good experience for me to record my thoughts and when I grew older, to see what I thought back then.  I have never wanted to talk to someone more than now.

All that said, onto my journal.

Entry:   The day started like most days did.  Sedaris and I had breakfast and went to classes.  It was such a nice day outside that Mother allowed Sedaris and I to do our homework in the gardens.  Mojo-Na and Max played in the grass as we worked on our history.  Mother and Father were in the antechamber.  Bits of the conversation carried throughout the garden and they were arguing about something about the company.  We were curious so we decided to sneak back into the classroom.  I watched for Mother and Father as Sedaris checked the news reports.  Max kept barking so we had to stop and turn off their play scenarios.  We temporarily disabled their internal alarms so the barking would stop triggering.  We found some news on the Holonet.  It talked about problems in the past with the company but we did not understand most of it.  We heard Mother coming so we snuck back through the windows to get back outside.

Sedaris finished his work early and went inside.  I stayed outside with Mojo-Na and tried to read my astrogation assignment.  It was boring.  A while later something weird happened?  Security forces came to the house and forced their way inside.  From where I was, I could see it happening so I hid.  A few moments later, I heard Sedaris call for help.  I ran to where he was and he was standing in the front of the house.  Max was not moving.  I found out later that he was deactivated.  Mojo-Na kept barking and an officer yelled at me to shut him up before they did.  I turned off his sensors so he could be completely still.

We were taken away to a holding area and kept apart from our parents.  I was so scared but I was glad that I was not separated from Sedaris.  Grandfather came to get us and was able to get us away from there.  He told us not to worry about our parents.  He said he would sort things out but until then; we had to go with him where it was safe.  He seemed so serious.  He took us to his house and it has been such a long time since we have visited.  He lives in this huge place with droids for his main company.  It's nice but not like our home.  I wish I knew what was going on and so does Sedaris.

We spoke a little about what happened.  Sedaris is upset because no one will tell us anything about our parents.  Grandfather does not even seem to want to speak about it.  I've learned to stay out of his way when he has a certain look and he has that look now.  Before he went to sleep, Sedaris told me that when Max was shot, he did not call out for me.  I told him he was crazy because I heard him and that's why I came running.  He said he heard me call for him.  He doesn't want to speak to me because I said he was imagining things so I decided to come in here and do some writing.

I don't have anything else to say.  I miss home.
Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
:icongermancitygirl:

Author's Comments

At the urging of someone very dear to me, I have decided to submit the first journal entry from my original character, Jedi Seeker Tanake Trang. Before anyone critiques and says that the writing is puerile, it is styled as an eleven-year-old might record her thoughts? The character concept is solely my own with a fair amount of credit for the storyline going to that same someone.

If you read this, I hope your interest is piqued enough to want to know more. Either way, enjoy.

Next installment found here.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 2 2 wow 1 1 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:icongermancity:
Congrats babe! I think anyone who sticks with these journal entries is in for a treat. 10 years of character history to be revealed.

Now I'll get back to coming up with the next 10.
:icongermancitygirl:
:blush:

Thanks for being the inspiration and the brain behind the 'Verse that she inhabits. You, as the vernacular goes, rock.

--
Curious about who this Tanake Trang is?
:iconfireflyfairy:
Yes, this looks very much like an eleven-year-old's diary entry. :nod: I remember my old journal entries, and they were very much like this, in terms of writing style at least. ^^
I shall have to read more now!

--
"I recognize that I am made up of several persons and that the person that at the moment has the upper hand will inevitably give place to another. But which is the real one? All of them or none?"
-Somerset Maugham
:icongermancitygirl:
I appreciate the comment!

There's more to be posted soon. Many years of the character's history... I hope you (and others) enjoy them :).

--
Curious about who this Tanake Trang is?
:iconinfiniteexistence:
My interest is most definately piqued. I love how you wrote from a child's perspective. I look forward to reading more. I've dabbled with Star Wars fanfic but never really found an outlet. Is this pre episode 1 or post episode 6, or should I just read? ;)

--
There is an art, or, rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Douglas Adams
:icongermancitygirl:
Thank you very much for the compliment. The time line is roughly 100 years after RotJ... but definitely in an universe that is within SW yet apart, if that makes sense.

And yes, just read ;)

--
Curious about who this Tanake Trang is?
:iconbluexmoons:
Very well written. Ok, well I mean, the story is compelling. And obviously the mechanics and flow are somewhat amiss, but its from a child's point of view; so that aside, it's fabulous. I think you really ensnared what an eleven year old writes like, how they feel emotionally and what not. On to the next entry!

--
My mommy thinks I'm special :ohnoes:
:icongermancitygirl:
I'm interested in the crit! How are the mechanics + flow amiss? Please share?

--
Curious about who this Tanake Trang is?
:iconbluexmoons:
Ehhh. I don't particularly remember what it was that had caught my eye earlier when I made this comment. I do believe your grammar was all ok. What made me say what I said was probably they choppiness of some of the sentences. I feel like some of them, are pretty short. AS for flow, what made me stumble was the awkward placement of your question marks; then again, I'm pretty idiotic, haha. And I meant mechanics as far as developement and sentence structure. But you put in the disclaimer about how this is a journal entry from a child's point of view. So shouldn't some of those things be slightly in the wrong? I wasn't trying to say anything negative. I just made an observation. Perhaps it was my usage of the word "obviously", because to be honest, I'm sure what I saw was not "obvious" to everyone. Or even you. Either way, I still love the entries. They're some of my favorite forms of fan fiction.

--
My mommy thinks I'm special :ohnoes:

Details

April 30, 2007
4.0 KB

Statistics

43
33 [who?]
7,217 (6 today)
189 (0 today)

Site Map